Has your child become a professional staller at bedtime? Does this remind you of your nights? 

You give your toddler or preschooler kisses and hugs, say goodnight, and turn off the light. As you’re walking down the hall or just as you’re sitting down to get comfortable you hear:

“I’m thirsty.”

“I have to potty.”

“Can I get one more kiss?”

“Can I tell you something?”

“I have to poop.”

“One more hug?”

“Boogers. I need a tissue.”

You give them their one request and send them back to bed, hoping that is the end of it. Only you know deep down inside this is NOT the end of it, because your little one has turned into a professional staller. They keep coming back out of their room over and over and over needing things, and the simple act of going to sleep turns into a very long, frustrating night. 

If this sounds all too familiar, the best way to make your nights easier and honor one of your child’s requests while putting a limit on the constant pop outs is by using My Golden Ticket aka a bedtime pass.

The idea of the My Golden Ticket is it allows your child’s request to be heard and honored while setting appropriate limits. 

Here’s how it works. 

Your child is given My Golden Ticket each night. It can hang on the door handle or be posted on the wall by the door. They can use their ticket to get out of bed for ONE request. When this one request occurs, the child gives up their ticket to the parent. Then the rest of the night, no other requests will be honored. 

When introducing My Golden Ticket to your child, explain how it will work. Stress that it can only be used ONE time and after it has been used, any other request, you as parent will say no to. So, they have to be very selective. 

You will also want to discuss what is considered acceptable use of the ticket. I like to encourage parents to only suggest things the child typically asks for. So don’t list everything under the sun as options! J

It can be used for:

A trip to the toilet

A drink of water

An extra hug

An extra tuck in

A tissue

To tell you one more thing

What should NOT be allowed: 

Reading a book

Re-doing any of the bedtime routine 

Eating a snack

Drinking milk or anything besides water 

It’s always great when the child can help decorate or color the ticket, so they feel a sense of ownership over it. You can download your own My Golden Ticket to print and cut out HERE.

How to Handle the Pop Outs

On the first night using the ticket, when the first pop out happens say something like, “You can use your ticket to go to the bathroom, but then no more getting out of bed” or “You can use your ticket for one more hug and kiss but then no more getting out of bed.”

They then exchange the ticket with you after their request is honored, and you say, “Ok, I’ll see you in the morning!”

If there are additional pop outs and requests, you say “No, you’ve already used your ticket” and walk them back to their room. Do not carry on a conversation while walking them back. Try to be very neutral or robot like. You don’t want them receiving any attention (positive or negative) from this pop out. That will only encourage more. Continue to walk them back over and over and over again. 

After a few nights of this, things should get easier. The child usually starts using the ticket only once for a legitimate request and not as a stall tactic anymore.

Be Proactive During the Bedtime Routine

What can be difficult about this is we as parents feel bad saying no to something that might be an actual need. What if he really has to go pee? What if she really is thirsty? Is this a stall tactic or an actual need?

The best way to help you feel more confident when saying no is by being proactive with the bedtime routine. Common nightly requests made once the light goes off should become part of your nightly ritual. If your child is always asking for a drink of water once the lights go out, add in a drink of water somewhere in the bedtime routine. If they are always asking to use the toilet, make sure there is a trip to the bathroom as one of the last steps in your bedtime routine. It will help meet that need and allow them to be more selective in their requests if that thing has already been taken care of. 

Eventually the excitement of the Ticket will wear off and you’ll find your child is not popping out of bed every night with requests. The use of the ticket then usually fades away naturally. 

Sometimes there are other things in play that can cause the bedtime process to be more challenging though, so if you have tried implementing a bedtime pass and it’s not working, please reach out for some one-on-one, age-appropriate advice for your child. You can schedule a Free Discovery call so we can chat. 

Last, if you are a current client using My Golden Ticket with your toddler or preschooler, please follow the advice we discussed in your consultation, not the walk back over and over strategy.