Does this sound familiar? 

You spend time bathing your sweet baby, getting them dressed and fed – maybe you sing or read to them too. All these activities make up their bedtime routine—a combination of things that all the books and internet sites say are crucial to excellent sleep success (which you feel might as well be a secret code into ninja-level parenting).

After spending 30 minutes putting your baby to sleep, you finally make it to the couch—only to have them wake up as soon as you get comfortable. 

What the heck?

If your baby has a false start to sleep, you may find that they are put down at their regular bedtime and then wake up about 30 – 45 minutes (or even 1.5 hours!) later. This can be highly frustrating for the parent! 

So WHY might a False Start at Bedtime be Happening, and How to Fix it?

The Reason: If your baby is under three months, developmentally, they may need a later bedtime. It is normal for newborns to have bedtimes that range from 8:00 – 10:00 pm.

The Fix: Rather than treating a seven or 7:30 sleep as bedtime, treat it as a nap and use that later bedtime for now. Then once they are around three months and older, you will want to pull bedtime earlier, to between 7:00 and 8:00 pm.

The Reason: Your baby is overtired. When a newborn, infant, or preschooler is put to bed overly tired, it can wreak havoc on their nights. Three things can happen, 1. They fight falling asleep at bedtime HARD – often there is more crying, and they struggle to fall asleep, 2. It can cause wake-ups and restlessness (hello, false start!), and 3. It can cause your child to wake up even earlier the following day.

The Fix: Shorten their awake window before bed to avoid that overly tired state. Here is a general guideline:

Newborns under six weeks – about 45 minutes

Newborns 6 – 12 weeks – about 60 – 75 minutes

3 – 4 months – 90 minutes

5 – 6 months – 2 – 3 hours

Seven months + or babies on a schedule – bedtime is usually 7 to 7:30. If they are going down later, try pulling bedtime earlier.

The Reason: Your child relies on a prop or tool to fall asleep or is drowsy when going into their crib. How your baby falls asleep at bedtime is how they have to get back to sleep in the night when they wake up. Since baby sleep cycles are shorter, about 40 – 50 minutes, they will wake up and think – hey! Where did that bottle go?! Or where did that bouncing mommy go? I NEED that to go back to sleep.  

The Fix: Teach your child to fall asleep on their own from a wide awake state. Once they are capable of this skill, they can put themselves back to sleep even if they wake up. If you need help on HOW to do this, reach out!

A note on this one: Sometimes, these false starts can occur while sleep training a child or during nap transitions. It’s like the baby is confused – Was that a nap? Was it bedtime? But again, once they learn the skill of independent sleep, these false starts will be rare.

The Reason: Your child does a “Dream Feed” at night. A dream feed causing a false start at bedtime doesn’t happen as often, but it can be the culprit sometimes. If a dream feed is used to try and extend the nighttime sleep, the baby’s body gets used to food coming around the same time every night, and some babies will start waking earlier and earlier in anticipation of that dream feed.

The Fix: Eliminate the dream feed. Fill up your little one’s belly at bedtime, even cluster feed in the evening if that works for you and baby, and then wait until they wake in the night to feed.

False Starts at bedtime can be frustrating, but there are things you can do to get them to stop. If you need help fixing your false starts, reach out for personal one-on-one support.