I was in complete denial that it was time for my daughter to drop her nap. All the signs were there, but I could NOT accept what was about to happen. How could I give up that time I had every day when she was napping?! Change is hard on all of us, and I was not handling this one well.
If you’re wondering, what are the signs my child is ready to drop a nap? Check out this Know When to Drop the Nap blog.
If you are feeling like I was feeling about your child dropping the nap, rest assured, it’s not so bad. Plus, you can set up a quiet time every day, so your child still gets down time and you do too.
Implementing quiet time can be challenging in the beginning for some children, especially if they are younger (2 or 3 years), but it can be done. Consistently having a quiet time every day is the way to do it. For some families, this is a must and something they will actively work into their day. While others, the thought of being home around the same time every day when now they are free from the constraints of a nap, just cannot commit to this daily. If you are the latter, quiet time might not be for you.
Get Ready
There are three things you will need ready to go before implementing quiet time. You will need a timer, a toddler clock, or a light that changes colors so that your child will have a visual or auditory end point.
You will also need toys and activities that your child is capable of playing with independently. Store these toys in a special place – a separate bin, a certain closet, a specific corner. That way it’s easy to set up quiet time and easy to put away.
Last, you will need to figure out where quiet time will take place. Most families have the child stay in their bedroom, but you could also use a toy room, bonus room, or a corner of a living room. It’s usually best to store the toys and the timer in that space.
Have the Conversation
Explain to your child that just because they are not napping anymore during the day, doesn’t mean their bodies don’t still need down time. Explain that every day they will spend some time in their room or space playing quietly. During this time mom also needs some down time to rest or to get adult things done, like cleaning up, working, etc.
It’s also important to explain how this will work. You’ll use the timer to keep track of how long your child needs to stay in their designated space playing independently. If they come out or are yelling or calling out for a parent, then the timer has to start all the way over (and it will take even longer). When the timer dings or the light turns a certain color, then quiet time is over, but not before that.
Set Up a Routine
You may have already been doing a nap routine with your child so just keep doing that. If not, implementing a short routine is a nice way to prepare the child for their down time. I like:
- Use bathroom or check/change diaper
- Read a book together
- Set out quiet time toys in stations around the room or space
If they use the toilet during the routine, they shouldn’t have to during quiet time. If the toys are already set out and easily accessible, you shouldn’t need to help with that during their time. Look at the routine as a way to be proactive and take care of any of the needs that could potentially come up during quiet time.
Then remind them that quiet time is over when the timer dings or when the light changes, and then leave.
Set the Bar Low to Start
Staying until the timer goes off or until the light changes will be difficult at first, especially if your child is young. Let’s set the bar very low and start with a 15 or 20 minute quiet time. I know! That isn’t time for anything, but you will work to extend that time once your child gets the hang of it.
Once they are finding success and staying the entire time, then start slowly increasing the time by 5 minutes every few days to a week. Celebrate and praise every day when quiet time is over and they stayed put until the timer went off. Over time, you can work towards a 60-minute quiet time. Some parents even work towards 90 minutes, but all children are different. Not all children could handle that long. You know your child. Work towards what is doable for you both.
What to Do if They Are Coming Out?
Because this will happen. Or they will yell for you and need your help with something or simply say they don’t want to do it anymore. When this happens, calmly go back to the room and issue a reminder and warning, “Remember, quiet time ends when your light changes. If you come out again (or yell for me again) I will have to restart the timer. And then quiet time will be even longer. So I’ll see you when the light changes.” And then walk away.
If they come out again or yell again, then you start the timer over and continue to do this every time they come out. The first couple days can take forever! This is why I want you to start small with a 15-minute session.
When they have their first successful quiet time of staying put the entire 15 minutes, celebrate and praise your child. Do a few more days at 15 minutes, then start slowly increasing, but don’t tell them you are increasing the time. Just do it.
If your child should happen to fall asleep during quiet time, go in and wake them up after 20 minutes. That way the cat nap can help them push through the rest of the day, but it’s not so long that it will negatively impact nighttime sleep.
When quiet time is over, help your child put their toys back in the designated space so they are ready to go for the following day.
Consistency is Key
I can’t stress this enough. The fastest way to a successful quiet time is by doing it every single day. I was so worried about my child dropping her nap but once it actually happened, I felt such a sense of freedom that committing to a time every day to work on quiet time was not something I wanted to do. Can you believe it!? All that worry for nothing. I found if I needed down time and the kids did too, I could get out some toys or activities they could play with near me, or I eventually let them have iPad time. Yep, I sure did.
I want your napless afternoon to work for you and your family. If you want that down time both for you and your child, consistently commit to it every day just like you would have it they were napping. If you get stuck along the way, reach out. I can help!
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